Friday, October 11, 2013

A Mother's Love

  Before I was a mom I often heard about how strong a mother's love was and that there wasn't anything a mother would not to protect her child. But, of course, not being a mom, I did not understand it.  It wasn't until I was pregnant with Ivan and I had this dream that I was being attacked and my only thought was protecting him.  Do anything to me, but don't touch my baby!  Ever since then I have experienced it many times.  Whether one of my children is being yelled at by a another child or if they are physically being hurt, I feel it rising in my and I just want to run and "save" them.  I have learned it is not always the best thing to do.  A child needs to learn the reality of this harsh world, if they are to survive in it.  But they also need a mother's love.   When one of my children is suffering, I always wish I could take the suffering for them.  I HATE to see them in pain.  There really isn't anything I wouldn't do to save my children from physical, emotional and spiritual harm.
  Another thing that being a mom has taught me is how much God really loves me.  I have being insecure my whole life.  When I would do something wrong, I would immediately think that my parents or friends didn't love me anymore, and I would try to "buy" their forgiveness by dong something for them.  I now know that it wasn't that way.  Once I became a mom, it totally changed.  When one of my children do wrong, I need to punish them, but I still love them and nothing will ever change that.  I am not happy when they choose to do wrong and it hurts me more than words can say, but I still love them.  God is the same way, and I have experienced Him in a new way.  I do not feel like I need to be perfect anymore ( I cannot be anyway).  I can be myself, a sinner saved by the grace of God.  He forgives me every time I sin (which is SO much).  I thank God that I can be happy and not fret about my sin.  I  LOVE the verses that say, "The Lord is merciful and gracious, slow to anger, and plenteous in mercy.  He will not always chide: neither will he keep his anger for ever. He hath not dealt with us after our sins; nor rewarded us according to our iniquities. For as the heaven is high above the earth, so great is his mercy toward them that fear him. As far as the east is from the west, so far hath he removed our transgressions from us. Like as a father pitieth his children, so the Lord pitieth them that fear him."  (Psalm 103:8-13).