It seems sometimes that life is rather boring, but not ours lately.
First it was our vehicles getting totalled and having to take care of all that. Then Josiah had to work on the furnace to get it going. Then it was my washer and dryer and yesterday they got fixed after being broken for a month, but then the furnace stopped working again. I was talking about this to Josiah, and he said at least we have the money right now (insurance money from the vehicles).
I keep asking why. I try to not let it stress me out, but sometimes I just do. Right now it is especially hard with the baby coming any day. I am emotional beyond measure. I might not show it to people, but on the inside I just cry. I just want to relax and have this baby and enjoy some time with my family before Josiah has to leave for a year.
This morning as soon as I woke up I took the time to lay in bed and thank God for everything that I do have. It did help me feel better. I know I have SO much, but when life comes at you full force sometimes it is hard to see the good. But I know God is in control and I want to rest in that. God knows I am tired and weary and just want to have this baby. He knows we live in a cold climate. He knows everything about my family and He cares and is watching over us.
I am going to go to church this morning and let Him minister to my every need. I know that I will be encouraged and strengthened by hearing His word preached and by being with my brothers and sisters in Christ.
Must run and get ready for church. Thanks for listening.
Last Saturday Ursula and I were invited to a tea party and the girl that invited us told me to bring a verse that was special to me. Isaiah 26:3 and 4 immediately came to mind.
They say, "Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on thee, because he trusteth in thee. Trust ye in the Lord for ever: for in the Lord JEHOVAH is everlasting strength."
I have really needed to rely on the Lord for his strength this last month. It seems like there is so MUCH going on and I look at it all and I feel overwhelmed.
I am going to just write a list of what makes me feel overwhelmed and then after will write what I am thankful for in situation.
What causes me to feel overwhelmed:
I think being almost 9 months pregnant makes everything feel harder. I feel SO tired and ready to be done. My body hurts and it is hard to move, but yet I am so in love with the little one in me that I would not trade being pregnant for anything in this world. So ready to meet this precious gift that God has given to my sweet heart and I.
Right now both my washer and dryer are down and the piles of laundry make my house feel so cluttered and messy, and I do not have the energy to take the kids down to the laundromat to do it. I am thankful for a kind mom who while she watched Ivan and Carl the other day, took my laundry and washed and dried it for me. It was a huge weight lifted off of me. (But you know laundry is a never ending task with 3 little kids in the house!)
I think the biggest thing that makes me feel overwhelmed is the thought of Josiah deploying next spring for a year. I cry whenever I think about it. I know God will be with me and I have a wonderful church family and family here with me, but I still feel overwhelmed thinking that I am going to have the total responsibility of four children and the whole house, and plus my man being across the world and some where there are people who do not like Americans. It is something that I do not know how I will do, but those Bible verses at the beginning bring hope and strength and I know that God will give his grace and strength when the time comes. He is faithful and I KNOW he will be keep his promises. His mercies are new every morning. I will take one day at a time. He knows what he is doing. He allowed it and he will be there and not fail.
I would like to do a list of what I am thankful for.
First of all I am thankful that I have a Savior that I can trust and one who has taken all my sin and forgives me when I fail.
I am thankful for my most precious treasure of a husband. I am SO blessed to have a man that loves me even though I fail so often. I am often in tears thinking about how much he loves me when I am unlovely. He is always there to listen to me (he might not have much to say, but at least he listens). He works SO hard to make sure we are well taken care of and is the best father in the world. My heart melts watching him play with and teach the children. I love you, sweetheart!!
I am thankful for my three children:
Ivan, whose energy is boundless and who thinks up of the craziest things. I love his beautiful eyes and the twinkle that is in them. I pray that God gives us the wisdom and help to direct his little heart to Him.
Ursula, whose blue eyes and blond hair make her look like a little angel. Her heart is SO tender and she loves to please people. She loves learning and always wants to help. She is indeed our little princess and I pray that someday soon she gives her heart to Jesus.
Carl, who is a typical 2 year old. He keeps me on my toes, but he also to cuddle with mommy and shower me with kisses. He is growing up way too fast. He doesn't talk a lot, and likes to play by himself. He has been my baby for almost 3 years. Just hope the new baby won't make him too jealous.
For my parents and Josiah's parents. You all have been there in time of need and helped more than words can say. For Josiah's parents: You raised a wonderful son who is now my husband and I LOVE the character that was instilled in him. He makes me a wonderful husband and our children a wonderful father. For my parents: Thank you for teaching me to work hard and for raising me in a Christian home. Thank you for loving my husband and children. It means the world to me to have your love and support.
For my wonderful church family. God has blessed us with a wonderful group of people to fellowship with and to have as friends. Their standing behind us in the harder times shows their true love for the Lord and his people. Thank you everyone at Lake Tomahawk Bible Church!