It is easy to say that God is good when he blesses you and things are going well for you. Not so easy when things are hard. You know it in your head, but it is hard to feel it. Since we got word that Josiah was getting deployed, I really struggled with it. Wondering why he was getting deployed and I was going to be left back at home with 4 small children. Plus everything that he would normally do around the house. I was overwhelmed. I spent much time crying out to God and begging for his help because the task ahead of me seemed impossible. I was not really struggling with the fact that I would have to take care of everything, but the fact that he was going to be gone. I was going to be ALONE. I was going to be away from the man that I loved and felt like I NEEDED.
The first couple of weeks were very uneventful. He got 4 days of leave and got to come home. I tried not to think about having to say good bye. The time finally came. It was one of the hardest things I had to do. But I knew that he was going to be getting another leave before he finally went overseas.
The next week sickness hit our house and Miles got very sick. He was not sleeping at night or day for that matter. And all he did was cry. I spent all my time taking care of him. I could not even talk to my sweetheart on the phone because of him (Miles) crying. That really frustrated me. I NEEDED to talk to my man, but couldn't. I was worried about Miles and took him to the doctor and they said that he just had a virus and sent me home. But I knew there had to be something wrong. And so I waited for 4 more days and he (and I) were not getting any sleep and he was not getting any better. I finally took him to the ER one morning and sure enough he had an ear infection and possibly the beginning of pneumonia. He got medicine and within a day he was starting to get better. You moms out there know the feeling of helplessness when one of your children are in pain and you cannot make it better. You also know the feeling when your child gets better. I felt a load off my shoulders. It was hard going through all this with out my man. I was tired (beyond tired) and worn out emotionally. But the love of God's people shone and I was showered with help and meals for the week and things slowly got better.
The next weeks went by pretty uneventfully. I was excited because I was going to be flying down to Texas to see my man again. The time finally came and we had a wonderful few days together. But then came the dreading parting. It seemed harder this time because I was flying home alone and in a little while he was going to be flying far away.